unsure feet, this or that
i recently mentioned wanting to do a 5K run or walk next month if i'm physically up to it. it really would be a dream come true. but i'm still unsure about it because of four main things:
1)i also recently wrote about the serial rapist in (my town). well now i'm not sure if i have a safe place to train anymore. all because of him. there was a huge local news segment on him last night and everyone is on edge because his attacks have become increasingly savage and vicious.
2) can i physically do it? i've continued to walk and run, body permitting. but i'm so frustrated by the fact that i seem to have hit a wall. plus the foot i fractured last year still hurts. can i build up enough bone density? also the extreme, constant fatigue and leg pain never seems to let me get past that wall nowadays and on the worst days i sometimes just can't do it. ever since i got sick i haven't been able to run at the same level i did when i was younger. i recently timed myself on a 1 mile run and was disappointed in myself. maybe i'm too hard on myself. i've always been like that: self-critical. maybe it's still just me working through a sense of loss because being athletic was once a huge part of my identity. now that mantle is largely gone. and i'm really struggling again with my body and it's difficult to talk about. i guess my experience has helped me understand the turmoil injured/sidelined athletes go through when they can no longer play. so i can empathize.
3)not sure of my schedule yet. stuff is still in the works. i hope there's time to fit in a race that weekend.
4)the 4th and last one is more indecision. if i'm able to do a race, i realized there are actually two i'm trying to decide between. one is the swedish summerun to benefit ovarian cancer research. i'm leaning more towards it, but recently found out about another one called the albertsons torchlight run. i've heard the latter is scenic. i've also heard it's festive and there are some people who dress up and run in costumes, much like the annual bay to breakers 8K in san francisco.
oh, and since i forgot the links last time, i remembered to find them today, so here they are! both really look fantastic but i can't decide. check them out and recommend one (or both!).
(i hope these links work!)
