memory lane: unpredictable paths & traffic rotaries

as i thought about my inability to attend my college reunion this weekend, i realized that i graduated 10 years ago to the day. on the crisp, bright, new england morning of 5-26-96, you'd have found me sitting in the campus amphitheater with the rest of my class. you'd have seen me applying sunblock to my nose, alternately laughing and crying, occasionally turning to wave at my family in the stands, or playfully twirling a blue delphinium, which each senior was given that day. you'd have spied me carefully listening to our commencement speaker, donna shalala, tell us that she believed one of us would become u.s. president.

i remember it all like yesterday--i even recall that during commencement, a bird crapped on a classmate sitting a few rows ahead of me! and boy was it hard for me to take down my dorm room posters and pack afterwards (hmm�.is this a recurring pattern for me?). after the crowds cleared, my sister and i took a late-afternoon walk through the newly lush-green campus. i savored the calm summer hush that had begun descending, and we visited the place where our class had laid a gorgeous, fresh laurel-leaf chain the previous morning at the senior class parade. i lingered there as the clock tower bell tolled 5pm across the now empty quad. i remember consciously thinking that if/when i returned in ten years, i'd likely be married, possibly have a child or two, and other maybes & possiblys. you never can map life out exactly. or can you? let's hear it for unpredictable paths!

much has happened since then. i'm a wee bit nostalgic as a personal chapter closes this weekend. i've been a class Scribe, writing up classmates' news in the alumni quarterly magazine since 1996. but my 2nd 5-year term expires tomorrow. it's been fun. truthfully, it was also hard for a while b/c a few years ago, when i was really sick, it was difficult to see healthy peers doing what i longed to do. last week, someone invited me to consider another five year term. it was a tough decision, but i declined. with so much change occurring here, the time has come to move on.

but i hope to visit mt. holyoke again one day. i still remember many things well. when i left, i knew the campus and surrounding area like the back of my hand. BUT, a decade later, i've lost *just enough* confidence to wonder if i'd get lost on the way there. small things get hazy with time. turn off of I-91 and go through the traffic rotary (it's a new england thing). uh, which turn do i make to reach route 116? once you're on that road, it's easy. but wait, little details have now begun to escape me. what i still know is that once you hit that magic "116 " and drive for a few miles, a sleepy, small-town new england feel envelopes you. there's a grocery store and a Friendly's restaurant on the right, so you know you're almost at the college. it's funny how for me, invariably, it always felt like i'd be driving along and then suddenly, the college would pop into sight. it's like, 'turn and you're there". each time i've been back as an alumna, i found my eyes inexplicably tearing up as i arrived on campus.

granted, maybe at the time, the tears were because i was scared that compared to my classmates, my life path resembled a traffic rotary, or worse yet, a jughandle. i'd like to think it's b/c the campus is beautiful & the four years i spent there were special in a way only i understand.