people will think you went to jail
this wasn't what i needed to hear! mom called after i finished my update here. i just got off of the phone w/ her.
obviously she knows what a tough time i've been having and how it's really changed me and made me so guarded...and how i've been trying to hide and keep a low profile.
well this evening she came right out and said it:
MOM: "(emeraldtiger), it's not like you did something wrong. so you got sick. maybe it's not something you want to march around advertising. but it's not so terrible that you have to go to all lengths to hide your illness. but if you don't return messages or calls to people you know, and you act all evasive and secretive about your illness, people will start to think the worst and think you really have something terrible to hide".
okay, whatever. but what she proceeded to say just topped it off:
"(emeraldtiger), if you're incommunicado for a long period of time, and you try to give evasive answers to people when they ask you what you've been up to, they might start to think you spent time in jail or something. do you really want that to start happening?"
aw man. that's not what i needed to hear. jail?!?!?!
would people really think that of me?
i mean, i know that people are probably more understanding, even sympathetic, than i give them credit for. but my circumstances make me very self-conscious. like i don't measure up somehow.
aw man.
