friendship style; the power of fear
i've got a penchant for taking fun online quizzes to kill time when bored. today i stumbled upon an online friendship style quiz. the results below are a description of my main friendship style (so i'm counting this as today's little fun fact about me):
"you're an independent, intelligent, free thinker who cherishes her individuality as well as her friendships.
people love being friends w/ you b/c you inspire them to increase self-reflection, self-awareness and self-improvement.
your friends may not see you everyday but they know you support them and care about them, and you share your knowledge and gifts freely when asked.
people look up to you b/c you understand yourself well, and you understand your own needs for stimulation and personal growth..."
well, folks, was i surprised by the results? yes & no. do i think it's accurate? somewhat. is this an accurate description my online friendship style too? not for me to say. you be the judge.
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now, i have some stuff to say about yesterday's fear-of -flying update. [**skip this if you're turned off by reading about my ridiculous fear**] it was much harder than i imagined it would be to write yesterday's entry, to expose this to everyone... i also have one confession to make as it relates to my fear: for the first time, last summer, it overpowered me and dictated my actions:
in my 2002 recap entry, i mentioned extending last summer's vacation by 2 wks. b/c i was having such a great time. (my ticket had a return date but it was open-ended & flexible so i was free to change). it's true i was having a great time and it figured into my decision to stay. i have no regrets whatsoever about staying for the whole month as it gave me the opportunity to go to canada, catch a MLB game, and do/see stuff i wouldn't have if i'd left earlier.
but here's the full story: i called united airlines asking about return flights available anytime between July 17th-July 21st. either all flights were completely booked or only red-eye flights were available. so i asked about july 22, 23, 24 or 25. again, the *only* sea-tac to wash,dc transcontinental flights available for any of those dates were redeye! [i actually flew redeye once (in 1992 sf to dc) but it was before my fear set in]. given my fear of flying esp. at night, i couldn't bring myself to book a redeye. july 26 had the first daytime flight w/ an opening so by default, it became my leave date.
to make matters worse, my anxiety started to build the afternoon of the 25th as i packed to leave. we went out to eat dinner at a place called bluwater bistro. there was a breathtakingly beautiful, rosy sunset over the water that evening. i should have relaxed, enjoyed it all and taken in the scenery. but as i sat there i couldn't even eat. my stomach had already started acting all funny in anticipation of flying out the next day. it was bad. and to make matters worse, i was so sad about leaving that my eyes started to water right there in the restaurant. and even worse, that night after i finished packing, i didn't even get a wink of sleep, instead lying in bed w/ my heart racing doubletime, pounding.
looking at it all, i can't believe the sheer power my fear held over me.....
