getting old

i've been thinking a lot lately about how *old* i really feel. i was talking to a, one of my dear dear friends from college recently. it turns out she's also been thinking a lot about the life space all of us have found ourselves in.

we were in connecticut in 2001 for the wedding of another college friend. while we were back in the area we decided to swing by our school. it was fun and the intoxicatingly beautiful campus still had the same enchanting effect on us. but as we walked around, one woman came up to us and asked if we were students in their nontraditional students program. we kind of looked at each other, speechless for a minute: "uh, no actually we're alums".

it was kind of funny but afterwards we looked at each other and were like "do we really look THAT OLD?" my hair was pulled back and i had on GAP overalls. maybe she thought we were 25-year-olds. maybe. after all, my sophomore year there was a really cool woman who was probably about 26 who lived in the same dorm who used to buy for us.

right now is such a weird time--so much transition for everyone our age. i know some people who are only just entering the work force after finishing long graduate and professional programs. others have worked since graduation and are ready to go back to school. still others have been working at one job for several years and gotten promoted. and others are switching jobs and moving. now people have scattered around more too. the first few years it was like everyone i knew either lived in boston, ny or dc, or the bay area. but now they're going to other places like nashville, or pittsburgh, or austin, tx or what have you. on the personal front, it's like *everyone* around is either getting married or having a baby.

i read last year in an article highlighting longitudinal research on american college graduates that marriages tend to come in waves, peaking 2 years after graduation, 7 years after graduation, and then 12 years after graduation. pretty interesting. and not surprising when i think of people i know. but also very depressing when i think about how i'm ready to pass 7 years and still find myself with cupid's arrows bouncing off of me like rubber instead of letting me get swept off my feet by that special someone. the feminist in me is overpowered by the fact that, yes, soon i'll start to hear my biological clock tick faintly.

two of my college friends just got engaged. b is planning her wedding. i'm so glad things worked out for her since she's been burned badly a couple of times. she really deserves so much happiness.

i also got an e-mail message several weeks ago from karin, whom i really hadn't kept in touch with and had only heard about through another friend. it was so good to hear from her. she's probably one of the smartest and most brilliant people i know, getting top honors in geology and going to work as a research scientist at the biosphere in arizona. most importantly, she's also one of most fun but down-to-earth people i know. not the least bit pretentious or fake or stuck up. i'm glad things have worked out for her too.

...my big task now is to revise and update my resume. i hadn't done it since passing boards last spring. i'm hoping 2003 is the year i find myself no longer disabled and also the year in which the economy improves. the job market around here sucks big time, so i need to be more patient and swallow my pride and consider temping. actually i need to work through the career crossroads i've come to in the past year or so. i'm questioning which direction will be the best to take. so i'm off to type up a new resume.