inebriation and a strange question
inebriated. how do you like that word? i'm impaired. my heart is drenched in wine. my brain is bathed in liquor. ha! i'm drunk and what can i say in a coherent way?
HAPPY NEW YEAR! the party's over and i'm fading fast. i'm a loser and ran out of fizz and have to go to bed.
when i wake up later i'll realize it's 2003 and start thinking about all the ways this needs to be a better year--a great year--for me than recent ones.
i drank wine the other night when i was feeling overwhelmed. and yesterday i was asked a strange question by my dad: "did you use alcohol last night?"
me: "what do you mean?" (puzzled and also playing dumb)
dad: "i smelled alcohol in the toilet"
me: "uh, that's weird. i don't know why that might be--maybe it's the disinfectant i used to clean the tub earlier"
dad: "no, it was definitely alcohol"
me: "you mean *rubbing* alcohol?"
dad: "yes"
me: "ah, yes. that. in fact i did use alcohol last night. it was rubbing alcohol to clean out my wounds from the nasty fall on ice last week when i went running"
dad: "mmmm hmmm"
etc.....
it was so weird. i thought it was weird that he would be asking if i had used alcohol, the way you ask a problem drinker, or the way parents ask their 15 year old kids. after all i'm way over the legal drinking age (not that it made any difference when i was a minor).
it makes sense now. i had been caught off guard by his question because the other evening when i had that glass of wine i had wanted to just escape to my own corner of the house to numb my stress and relax and get to sleep and enjoy a good glass of chardonnay. and i don't usually drink in secret because i have nothing to hide and there's nothing wrong with enjoying wine. but this time i just wanted to be left alone.
am i turning into a moody teenager once again?
diaryland readers beware: i'm 28 going on 16.
