Post-Partum
The truth is that here I am, a few weeks post-partum so to speak, and I'm still recovering from the whole experience of birthing that dissertation baby. To say it took a lot out of me is a gross understatement. I've been making up for lost sleep, etc. On top of that, it's been hot as firecrackers here, with temperatures in the upper 90's so the heat further zaps my energy.
This post-partum feeling didn't actually hit right away, b/c I ran on adrenaline for several days afterwards as I basked in the happiness of my accomplishment. My family came into town to celebrate with me, and, fittingly, it was the 4th of July holiday weekend, which made it that much more fun. Fittingly, we finally made it out to one of the best known, historic local wineries here that I'd always wanted to visit (Google "Barboursville" if you want to know more). They let you taste 21 different wines (about half white/half red), and...let's just say that I drove to the winery but most definitely wasn't the driver on the trip home.
So for the actual defense session? Wow. It was so intense. It took the full 2 hours, from 2:30-4:30pm. Dissertation defense sessions are open to the public, and usually there aren't many (or any) guests sitting in. For most people, it's the doctoral candidate, and their committee members, and occasionally one or two friends. So imagine my surprise when a whole bunch of friends and classmates showed up. It was weird to have an audience for this, but it was also oddly comforting, as I had to field some really tough questions, and it was nice to have some friendly faces in there and realize that they were all rooting for me and cheering me on.
Although the session was long, grueling, and intense, it also went by so fast, almost in a blur, because I was nervous, excited, etc. The hardest part was, obviously, when I was sent out of the room so my committee could deliberate. The rest is history, as my advisor emerged and gave me a huge hug and "congratulations".
I had told my family they were welcome to come watch my actual defense, but then they thought better of it, and said they didn't want to distract me, and my mom even said she and my dad would feel terrible if, for some reason, things didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped, and it would make it awkward to face my professors afterwards. So they just told me to "break a leg" and "go get 'em", and that's what I did. When I was all done, my family had arrived in town and was waiting to take me out to dinner and then celebrate afterwards with a special cake that said "Congratulations Dr.(mylastname)".
It's nice to finally be able to ease up on the gas pedal a bit, after stepping on it continuously since last year. There are a couple of loose ends to tie up, like one minor revision before filing the document with the university and sending it to press. Did you know how expensive printing and binding are?!?! And guess who is expected to incur the cost?? Me, of course. But it will feel so wonderful when that tangible, black, bound book is ready. And I absolutely cannot wait to get my hands on my diploma when the registrar has it ready this fall.
Life goes on, I have some things to do, and other things to tell you later. My sister asked me if the post-partum blues will hit me when school starts and I'm no longer a student. I told her absolutely not, and I hope that's true down the road. I have new adventures to pursue, new responsibilities and I want to start developing and exploring other talents and other aspects of my life.
PS, Many of you will be pleased to know I chose to take brownies and fresh berries to my defense. It was the right choice. You can never go wrong with brownies/chocolate.
