Lines, lines, lines.

Remember how I was referred to an Endocrinologist in early November? The soonest opening they had was early February, so I took it, and that appointment was finally going to happen this week, on Friday. Unfortunately, late this afternoon, I discovered that the clinic had left me a voice message earlier, letting me know they had to change my appointment, and had re-scheduled me to March 26.

MARCH 26th?!?!?!? Um, I don't think so!!!! I was immediately on the phone with them, but my only option at this point is to call every day to see if there are cancellations from other patients. How fucked up is that? I can't imagine what it must be like for people diagnosed with aggressive or advanced cancer, who end up having to wait months to get in with an oncologist, and probably risk dying while waiting.

I can't wait around all year: I'm trying to graduate this summer, and 1) my health insurance coverage will change when I graduate, and 2)there's the possibility I may have to move away after graduating if I get a job someplace else. It's not like I can wait and screw around--there are loose ends to tie up, and my fear is that the whole endocrine workup could be a long, complex process, depending on how many tests they need to run and what they do or don't find. And #3: I've already had some blood tests done that have come back out-of-range. Am I supposed to wait until it's critical?

Also...simply put, I'm hurting. I've stayed patient and quiet here and in real life, because no one likes a whiner. But it really hurts to walk around on fractured tibias. I have no idea if I'm aggravating them or if they're starting to heal but that pain is normal during healing. Every time I get onto the elliptical trainer, they start hurting, but because I haven't seen anyone, I haven't been told NOT to do the elliptical trainer. The only thing I'm officially forbidden from doing is running and jumping, which you don't have to be rocket scientist to figure out. My bones hurt all the time. The fundamental question is why I've lost so much bone and become so "weak" in the absence of an obvious cause, like malnutrition. It's the bone density scan, not the fractures themselves, that prompted the endocrine referral.

This fills me with some fear, because, while it could just be idiopathic and random (hoping this is the case), most of what I already know about unexplained osteoporosis is that there is usually a secondary, underlying cause: it can be as "simple" as a food intolerance/metabolic problem (like celiac sprue), or as complex as a thyroid or parathyroid disorder, benign pituitary tumors, or, in the scariest cases, various cancers that first show up as unexplained bone breaks. So, yes, in addition to be puzzled and frustrated, I am a little bit more scared than I've let on to anyone.

To top it off, why is it so difficult to get in with a new acupuncturist??!! They all seem to have wait lists. Doesn't a bad economy mean fewer people will be seeking complementary therapies that their insurance doesn't cover? Or is it that lean and mean times make people more stressed out and they're more likely to go seek acupuncture? Is it that I live in a fancy and progressive and prestigious university town where everyone is uppity and can afford to spend whole paychecks on food and $120/week on acupuncture (I was paying $60)?

Long lines seem to be a recurring theme lately. I made the mistake of grocery shopping the night before the snowstorm last week. The line from every checkout counter extended all the way up the aisles, but it was good practice for the "line" at the clinic.