Wounded Knee & Shadows
I can't believe that exactly (only!) a month ago, I was en route from Honolulu to Maui. The warmth seems so far away. I'm happy to say my wounded knee is finally almost healed. See, the awesome resort we stayed at was near an area called "Black Rock". That should have clued me in that there was coral in the waters, making certain stretches of beach better for snorkeling than swimming. But being an Atlantic Coast girl from a non-tropical, non-coral reef zone, I unwittingly went swimming in the black rock area on my my first day there.
As I was paddling my boogie board ashore into shallow waters, I gashed my knee really hard against a coral reef. But I actually didn't realize I'd cut myself until I had come up the beach and someone else noticed the bleeding. Guess it's a good thing there were no sharks around! The cut was actually deep enough to warrant stitches, but the hotel doctor didn't take Aetna, so it would have been $500 out-of-pocket, that I'd rather either save, and/or spend on....anything but stitches. And I knew from experience that going to the ER would entail a many hour wait, as always ironically the case with ER's. And when you're in Maui of all places, the last place you want to spend precious hours in paradise is in the local emergency room.
Luckily, my sister (a doctor) was able to set and cover the wound and align the gash so it would heal ALMOST as well as w/ stitches. And I didn't get scared out of the water. There was plenty of swimming and a little snorkeling--though snorkeling is harder than you might think if you're a novice and a wee bit claustrophobic around your face. Just relax and don't tug at the mask covering your nose or you'll get water in. Then open your eyes to a whole new colorful world under the sea.
As crazy as this sounds, I'm still jet-lagged--my circadian clock is still out-of-whack after flying home on a red-eye. On weekends and weekdays when I don't have morning classes/meetings, I've been consistently sleeping super, duper late--'til about noon. Maybe it shouldn't surprise me, given how long it took to recover after my Korea trip two years ago. But it's hard to wake up and discover that half the day is gone, and then panic at all that has to be done, and then get into a mad cycle of staying up late to do just that. I've tried an alarm, earlier bedtime, less caffeine/alcohol, etc, to no avail.
That leaves either acupuncture or melatonin. Although there's no such thing as acupuncture designed specifically for jet-lag, at this point, I've been sleeping so much and so late that it's worth asking. Melatonin is popular, but I have this irrational fear it'll cause depression or make me sleep even more. The scale tips towards acupuncture.
Given my sleepiness, it's fitting that the groundhog saw his shadow today. Although winter's not my favorite season, and I'm heavily oriented toward spring, I'm a little scared of time flying too fast. WHY?
Exciting things are happening. I'm finishing classes this spring. But then come comprehensive exams and then my dissertation and eventually a job search. They all scare me, esp. in this economy, but what scares me the most is a more immediate uncertainty of whether I'll be delayed by a semester or year. I told you my advisor's 40 year old husband has leukemia, which is stressful in itself.
A bone marrow match just came through, which is exciting and wonderful! So I'm hopeful for them, but scared b/c my advisor will probably be gone all semester to be w/ her husband in Boston (at Dana Farber). A marrow transplant is a long journey....but if she's back early, it means the unthinkable happened. Either way, it fills me with uncertainty about what my advisor's absence or distractedness means for me, academically. It's a tough, tough thing with a ripple effect for everyone around her, including at school.
That overwhelms me, so on that note, let's end here.
