Good Intentions? Good Time?
School is out for winter break, so it's nice to be done with classes, save for the aforementioned (too many times) project/paper that I need to work on finishing during break. Yay--thumbs up for Christmas vacation and no classes for a month! Thumbs down for work that spills over, and also, thumbs down for having to travel with my laptop that I so hoped not to have to lug onto the plane with me! But the project seems do-able and I got encouragement and a green light from my advisor yesterday. And a change of scenery might give me renewed energy to push through and get it done sooner than later. Hey--the next time I'm on the market for a new laptop, remind me not to get the standard size kind, but to order an ultra thin, lightweight, portable one insead. Have you seen the Macbook Air?
So there's something else (are you ready?): there's this guy I know from school that I think is interested in me. Or, if he's not, then he's doing a damn good job flirtng and letting it be known on multiple occasions that he's available if I have time in my busy schedule. It's flattering, as these things often are. And/but I'm also not quite sure what to think. You see, I don't know him all that well. We were classmates in a couple classes last year and in 2006, but I never really talked to him, other than maybe a "hello" here and there. He always seemed pleasant enough, but I never got the impression he was particularly interested in me back when we were in classes together.
He's a year older than I am and is in the Ph.D. program in IT (a tech guy) and will graduate this coming spring (May). I think he seems pretty sweet, at least on the surface/first impressions. He graduated from Swarthmore, where he actually played soccer. So we have a competitive/elite liberal arts undergraduate college background in common. We've gone out very casually a couple of times. That's been relaxed and fun and nice, and I'd probably do it again. But maybe I'm also still trying to size him up. What I do know is that IF it turned out that we'd be better as just pals, I'd definitely be open to maintaining a friendship with him. But what does he want (if anything), and what (if anything) do I want?
This is probably going to sound totally crazy: I think while he's definitely let me know he's "interested", I DO have a few lingering questions and reservations. He's graduating in May and thinking about either moving back out to Seattle, where he lived before coming here for school, or up to the northeast. He's from Pennsylvania (near Philadelphia). It mostly depends on the job market, but think he's leaning more toward the West Coast, as he lived out there (California, then Oregon, and finally, Seattle) for the past 10+ years.
The question really is: Is he genuinely interested in me in the same way that my other guy friend was? (You know, does he really like me for who I am, or at least genuinely want to get to know the real me?) OR, is it that he likes me well enough, thinks I'm attractive enough, and fun/funny enough to spend time with, but is mainly interested in just passing the time and having a good time for the remaining time he's here (i.e,. the next several months before graduation)? Although the line between those two kinds of interest can and sometimes does intersect, there IS also a distinct difference in my mind.
There are other questions I have about him--there's this one thing about his past that I find a little bit enigmatic, but it could have either a simple answer or it could have complex story behind it. (But that's not for here/not for now). At this point it's a little hard to gauge him, but despite how it all might sound here, I'm actually pretty relaxed about it and just being real cool and will just take it as it comes. What do you guys think?
I think that at worst, if nothing else develops, at least maybe I'll still have made a new friend, which isn't bad. We all know how much harder it generally is to make new friends once we're past our 20's, and life gets too busy and/or we get set in our own circles of friends/family, and/or set in our ways. And it seems a lot of people become more reticent.
This is a total tangent, but, it's so crazy b/c several women I was talking to at a recent holiday party comprised mainly of the married and married-with-kids crowd said that they actually feel fairly lonely despite having spouses and kids. Sad irony, huh? But I can easily see that some people (certainly not all, but a lot) tend to become a lot more insular and less social once they couple off, and esp. after having kids. They end up too busy and/or tired, and I've noticed even with some of my own friends that a lot of times (perhaps unintentionally), once people pair off, it's almost like there's less incentive to expand one's social circle, especially beyond just other couples. (And for the couples with kids, I think, it's more about connecting with other families with similarly aged kids for playdates and play groups). And that is a club in which I SO don't belong yet.
Anyway, I think that's it for now. I've gotta start packing my suitcase and run a billion errands...
