in like a lamb, out like what??

having this lingering-type pneumonia for the past three weeks has zapped all of my energy. i went through six bottles of cough syrup. yikes! but i�m finally getting better, so no more robotrippin�. what probably didn�t help my slow recovery is that work is running me into the ground. (i'm about to get 40 new clients referred to me from one school alone, for a caseload of over 80 students--holy fuck)! also, there's fact that i spent the last few weeks staying up way too late, watching the Olympics on tv. but who can resist seeing the sexy moves of tall, blond athletes w/ sexy scandinavian names like lars, sven, or bjorn? and who can peel their eyes away from the tv screen when the speed skaters are on in their tight outfits? i have a teeny-tiny crush on gold medal speed skater & �bad boy� apolo anton ohno. alas, the winter games are over, which means i won�t see my Olympic boyfriends for another four years.

so march came in like a lamb the other day, with temperatures hitting 75 degrees. the truth is that this will be an important month for me. in december, i wrote that i might be moving, this summer. i don�t know where, yet, but over the course of the next few weeks, i'll have a better idea what direction my life will be headed in. i�ll have all the necessary pieces of information to make the best possible decision. by april, everything should be decided. time flies by too fast, and just for a moment, all i want is for time to stand still. all at once, this is exciting, overwhelming, stressful, and scary. i�m also filled with sadness about the end of one chapter in my life. now, the prospect of packing up this sweet little apartment of mine by mid-june is more "real", and it leaves me feeling very un-grounded and not-settled. (not to mention that i�m still a little upset about my apartment being sold). but at this point, it�s useless to worry about it. for all i know, i could be living on the west coast next year, walking along the beaches of the pacific. then again, i may be in a new dwelling just across town, which will still be a huge change.

one more thing: there�s a chance i�ll be going back to school for a doctorate this fall. the time is right, and i think i�m ready, even though it�s a huge financial & time commitment. i�ve been accepted to Ph. D. programs at Penn State (my january trip to pennsylvania was actually an interview), University of Maryland, and University of North Carolina (at Chapel Hill). i�m thrilled about all three! BUT, i kind of want to keep this hush right now and see what else unfolds this spring. as an introvert, i need to dig deep within myself and do some real hard-core thinking for now.

and that is that. only time will tell if march roars out like a lion or disappears like a lamb.