wardrobe malfunction
uh oh... promise not to laugh, ok?
upon returning from my trip friday, i discovered, to my horror, that i had unknowingly experienced a major wardrobe malfunction. it wasn't a cleavage issue (not that i have much cleavage to speak of, anyway). no. as i changed out of my work/professional clothes and unpacked the rest of my suitcase, i noticed that my brand new black Ann Taylor pants had a friggin' hole in the crotch! this was no ordinary hole--it was a *two-inch* gash along the seam running from the butt all the way down to the crotch! these pants are actually a bit too big for me, so i can confidently say i most certainly didn't split them while moving about or sitting down. it's true i can do splits and other bad-ass flexible shit, but i sure wasn't doing that or yoga in these pants! nope. all last week, i sat on my ass in a lecture/seminar room for hours on end, drinking bad coffee and struggling to keep my eyes open.
the only explanation for this wardrobe malfunction is poor workmanship, which is sad given that, well... they're brand-new Ann Taylor pants. i wonder if anyone at the meeting saw the hole and didn't say anything, or laughed behind my back? at least i was wearing black underwear, so maybe it wasn't obvious. also, i think it's just that the thread along the crotch seam came loose, so i don't *think* my pants would have gaped open unless i bent over--hopefully not! okay, if you saw someone walking around with a disastrous and potentially embarrassing wardrobe malfunction, would you politely tell them, or would you pretend you didn't see it? would you laugh at them or just laugh behind their back? actually, don't answer that. i don't wanna know.
in other news: this afternoon, i injured myself in an act of sheer stupidity and anger. now my bony outer wrist (just above the ulna) is hurting, swollen and red. i'm applying ice and wearing a brace for damage control. hopefully my actions didn't come with a hefty price tag, such as a fracture. *{keeping fingers crossed}*
