tentative steps

here's my news at last: i'm trying to transition back to employment sometime this fall. my decision has been in the works for a while and i wanted to write about it, but wasn't ready until now.

yesterday i had an appointment w/ someone at the local D.R.S. in april, i had an informational interview with a former co-worker who branched out from career counseling into organizational consulting/HR/EAP work. when she learned of my condition, she encouraged me to get in touch with them.

i always naively assumed things would be simple: i'd get well quickly and go back to work in no time. it was a matter of WHEN, not IF i went into remission. when it didn't happen, i got disillusioned and started to despair. maybe now, on one level, i think i'm suddenly liberated! that's b/c i've started to realize that part of coming to terms w/ my physical limitations means remaining hopeful, but *not* holding my breath for something that is iffy. and i recognize my strong inner need to move forward in whatever way possible. it's both an exciting and scary time in my life.

this is a huge deal for me and that there are a million thoughts and questions flying through my head. i'm optimistic about the possibilities. but what if things don't work out, or my transition takes longer than expected? what if i physically (stamina) can't handle work? what about ADA compliance in hiring and reasonable accomodations? how will it help or hurt me that my condition is outwardly invisible?

i know i have to start w/ tentative little baby steps. but for starters, i think yesterday's meeting went well. i took a copy of my resume, which i think she liked. i *hope* things eventually work out. keep your fingers crossed for me.