justifying

i did it. i e-mailed the diaryland member whose writing caught my attention. i seriously wondered if it was the right thing to do and feared she'd either ignore me or tell me to mind my own business. to my surprise i got a response and it was brutally honest. she seems like such a wonderful person and i'm incredibly sorry she's so troubled. i'm spinning my wheels thinking about how best to respond now that i'm armed with more info.

a lot of people flip out and don't know how keep cool and approach someone at risk for self harm but the worst thing to do is stay silent. unfortunately it's all too easy esp. because (suicide and self injury) are taboo topics for a lot of people based on fear, religious beliefs, or whatever.

i used what i know from grad. school and asked if she had a specific plan to hurt herself. a lot of people mistakenly believe that asking if someone has a plan in place will give the depressed individual ideas. the reality is that it doesn't. if you know there is a plan in place you can respond accordingly and gauge how serious someone's threats are. one thing a lot of therapists do is draw up a contract whereby they get an individual to agree not to self-injure for a given amount of time. the premise is that it buys extra time to get a person help. another type of contract is one where the depressed person agrees not to self-injure and also agrees to call someone for help if he/she feels like they're ready to take that action. for now, i'm glad that this user says she has a friend on diaryland (whom i don't know) who apparently drew out an informal contract by making her put her self-destructive plans on hold for at least a year. whoever this member is, is very smart and quick-thinking.

if anyone is out there reading this--especially if you're in h.s. or younger--and your friend confides in you that they want to hurt themselves, it's okay and *necessary* to break their confidence and tell someone you trust. your friend might resent you for a while but it's incomparable to losing them permanently.

i don't really know what i'm trying to say here. maybe i'm justifying the course of action i took in putting myself on the line and actually e-mailing someone in trouble. in general i'm not crazy about the idea of e-mailing people here in case my identity should slip out. call me paranoid but that's a personal preference. maybe i'm thinking aloud, and i guess that's okay. i don't know--based on my own principles i just couldn't ignore someone in need of help.

i don't know what readers think of me--especially when i bitch, moan, cry or get all intense in my entries. in a way it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because this journal is for my benefit, not theirs. [if you don't like my writing then get out]. but i guess if there's one thing i want people to know, it's that i'm someone who is always willing to help others (including strangers). i guess i try to live my life being the kind of friend people want to have. if i can make a positive difference in someone's life, then it's all worth it.