don't spam me; updates
i went to acupuncture today and it was a good session. my acupuncturist is so great! he and i both agree that i'm experiencing some baseline improvement. the only downside was that i went in feeling really lightheaded and with a killer headache. the session really made me feel much better.
i think that starting to write about all the stuff that i did in recent entries, and being able to anonymously express such personal stuff, has been like a therapeutic release--a breakthrough experience. i'm freer. my acupuncturist emphasized that the human body is very resilient and forgiving of any past abuses and overwork.
unfortunately today found me too wiped out to go running or swimming. but at least i no longer panic or get irritable, snippy and anxious when i miss a workout. i need to learn to relax and realize that it's okay to take days off and that i can't push myself. the latter is the hardest lesson to learn when you have lower stamina than most people and yet you have the same everyday competing priorities in life. so often i want to have my cake and eat it too.
speaking of pushing myself, i did something very dumb a few weeks ago. in starting to walk and run again, i wanted to gauge where i was as far as speed. in high school i ran a very fast mile with my best time being 6:05. hell i ran faster than most of the boys and it gave me such a high! i figured that being sidelined the past several years had really deconditioned me and so for the hell of it i timed myself as i ran a mile around a nearby track to see how much time i'd added onto my personal best. low and behold i didn't do too badly, turning in a time of just over eight minutes! i guess that swimming has kept me in good cardiovascular shape and it's just the musculoskeletal stuff and fatigue factor that make it hard when i run. i ended up really rundown for a week afterwards. right now i have to go one step at a time and not push too hard or i'll pay for it with a huge setback. is that really worth it?
well it's a week to christmas and i need to buy presents. i got a couple things at banana republic a few days ago but my shopping is still incomplete. it's hard when you are surrounded by people who are "hard to buy for". yes i sent out cards even though i bitched about it in my 'tis the season entry. i'm honestly not a grinch although some of my entries might make people think so. yes i ended up getting those holiday letters but it wasnt' really so bad. i had to laugh though, when i got one that was a full page in length, in a tiny font, along with a picture, and filled with news about wedded bliss and a recent sunny tropical getaway. i knew it was coming. my best friend from h.s. lives in atlanta and sent me a photo of her 14 mo. old little boy and he's adorable so it made me happy. i guess if anyone wants to buy me anything it should be picture frames or albums. i have tons of photos that need to be organized in some way and with all the photos people send, it would be perfect.
keeping an online journal is a real therapeutic release. like a blank canvas where i can record the idiosyncracies of my life. a safe space where i won't be judged or feel violated. this is where i meet and find myself, vent, and explore my thoughts, feelings and actions, and the motives behind them.
i might update tomorrow if there's time. otherwise with the onslaught of the holiday rush next week, i might not get time to write more until the end of the year. we'll see.
