with regrets....and...we are pleased to inform...

So...about my guy friend I wrote about a couple of weeks ago who sent me a love letter: I...let him down gently and tactfully, and told him I valued and appreciated his friendship a great deal (which I truly do). But I don't know if he's going to want to talk to me again, or if he needs time to distance himself from me to get over it, which I understand. Rejection is hard for anyone to take. It hurts. But I just regret that I was placed into a position where I had to do it, especially to hurt a friend's feelings. It's not the first time, it might not be the last time, but it makes me feel like such a heel...it's the same feeling as having to fire someone from the job, or the same as when I was teaching and ended up having to give someone a "D" in my class.

I actually have a lot to say about this, but, being pressed for time for now, I'll leave you with this to ponder. I talked to a various trusted friends about this situation, and two main themes emerged: 1) Just about everyone said that their friendships with their guy friends ended up strained, especially if they did experiment with dating and it ultimately failed. 2) I got some very mixed messages, all well-meaning, I assume, but some that disturb me a little bit, and leave me feeling conflicted, b/c they remind me of an article by Lori Gottlieb that I read last winter thanks to a link provided in a blog that I read semi-regularly, called Maven Haven. I'll tell you more about that later, and if you have a strong enough stomach for it, I'll even link the article! (Then again, maybe it won't hit you as hard, and you won't have strong opinions about it b/c a majority of you out there are probably either hitched or happily coupled). We'll see...

In other news, my hopes of getting back into running, and starting to train for next spring's local 10-mile race are gone. Or, to be optimistic, they're slipping away fast. My rheumatologic woes are flaring again, and apparently it includes a susceptibility to "over-use" injuries without actually over-using. It's frustrating b/c the first thing I often get asked is if I do some type of extreme sports, or at least, am I training for a marathon? Um, no. I wish. What wouldn't I give to be training for a marathon instead of having to use handicapped/disabled parking!?!

Since July, I've been dealing with posterior tibial tendinitis that has brought pain and swelling to my right foot arch, and pain that runs up my leg and calf. That, plus a rotator cuff injury in my left shoulder have landed me in physical therapy, which I hope makes me heal and grow stonger and less injury prone. As I recently learned, being flexible and double jointed isn't always a good thing. But more on that another time. For now, things are slowly starting to make so much more sense.

Finally in other news, the research proposal I submitted back in August was accepted!!! Which means I'll be going to San Diego for a conference in April, to present a poster on my research project. It can only mean good things when you get a message/letter that states "we are pleased to inform you....(blah, blah, blah)....ACCEPTED". Score!Mmm....California....beaches...the ocean. after i'm done w/ my poster session, you bet I'll change out of my suit, relax, and go eat fish tacos, drink margaritas, take surfing lessons, see Coronado Island or go up to the lighthouse just up the coast, maybe go see the pandas at the zoo again, and just people-watch on the beach/boardwalk.