3 truths... (2nd entry)
1)i'm dreadfully late with x-mas cards this year. for unkown reasons, the jingling holiday mood is slow to hit. maybe writing holdiay cards will un-grinch me. at this rate, they may end up as new years' greetings!.
2) the truth is that i'm stressed out about that (personal statement). this fall, i made a major life decision. if you read me closely in mid-october, you'll likely add 2+2 and figure this one out . this is huge for me--by giving this a shot, i'm taking a big chance. it's a necessary risk, but i'm so scared it won't pan out. and if it does, it's a serious investment of time, energy, and $$. so at the moment i feel kinda insecure all around.
3) i won't go in many details, but...last month's rheumatology appt confirmed existing reservations i had about healthcare service quality at johns hopkins. it left me with more questions & doubts than answers. for one, she thinks i should see a *kidney specialist* for a nephrology consult (huh?). i honestly don't know how i feel about that. and she kept saying my drug doses were too high for my body size, even though it's a standard textbook adult dose. i may weigh only 112, but i AM a full-grown adult... i understand her concerns about plaquenil-induced eye damage but still.. the road towards making peace with (having this condition) --and subsequently finding peace within myself--has been made that much harder. does anyone ever achieve peace w/ all this? maybe not. {sigh}
