more about me right now
more about me right now...
on tv: "ER"
eating: strawberries
drinking: water
high temperature here today: 86 degrees
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i am: wearing shorts right now
i think: quickly and adroitly
i know: that i don't know everything; i know a lot but am always ready to learn more
i want: to know that better times lie ahead for me & that things will be okay in the end
i have: a few trusted friends and an amazing family who support me in every endeavor and always encourage me when i need it
i wish: i could go back and re-live my 20's again, but in good health
i miss: being carefree & energetic
i fear: not having a remission; having to build my life on a crumbly sand foundation
i feel: frustrated & stuck; like everyone my age has left me in the dust and is experiencing what should also be mine--things that are so ordinary and average.
i smell: like my victoria's secret sugar & spice scented bubble bath
i crave: a sense of normalcy
i search: for heightened self-awareness, plus answers about a lot of things in my life
i wonder: if i'll marry and have children one day
i regret: not receiving an accurate diagnosis for six years; i also regret the time(s) when i stopped eating when i was 19 or 20.
i love: warm weather, the smell of flowers, and being near the ocean
i long: to be held, kissed, touched by someone....and to be desired.
i care: a lot about other people
i always: am a loyal friend
i am not: closed-minded, judgmental, petty, or two-faced
i believe: that patience, and realisitc optimism are important
i hope: to meet my better half--someone who accepts me with all of my faults and foibles, who i can let down my guard around, who is patient with me and who i can trust. someone who won't get frustrated, weirded out or abandon me when i'm sick.
i dance: occasionally and when i'm drunk
i sing: not very well and therefore only when no one will hear me
i cry: when i'm alone--usually in the bath or shower, while exercising, or as i'm falling asleep; and more often now than i did before i got sick
i do not always: let people know what i am thinking
i express: my thoughts and feelings articulately
i never: want to take prednisone again
i confuse: other people into thinking i'm an introvert when i'm actually an extravert
i can usually be found: sleeping in on saturday mornings
i am scared: of my dad's upcoming heart valve replacement surgery
i need: to be less self-critical
i am happy about: everything i've managed to accomplish in my life so far despite obstacles, and the wisdom i've gained from those experiences
i expect: the best from others
i should: go do some laundry
the best choice i've made in the past week is: (as i mentioned yesterday), deciding against attending a professional conference in minneapolis this week